19 February 2008

Boys or girls?

Every woman is asked whether she wants a boy or a girl when she is having a child, and pretty much every woman gives the same standard answer: "Oh, it doesn't matter whether I have a boy or a girl, as long as the baby is healthy." Right? But deep, deep down, a woman usually has a desire for one or the other at some point. Sure, that desire may change a hundred times during the course of the pregnancy, but that desire is still there. Most women just don't speak on it, for fear of jinxing themselves--or possibly because they don't want someone telling the child that his mom really wanted a girl, for example.

Ok, so what is my point? Well, I want to admit that, yes, when I was pregnant with both of my boys I did at some times secretly think that it would be nice to have a girl. Don't get me wrong--I love my boys more than anything and I wouldn't trade them for the world. But, I did think about how fun it would be to be able to go out and buy frilly dresses and Barbies and cute little pink tights and hair bows. I thought it would be fun to get to spoil a little girl with all the things that I wanted as a child.

Now, though, that I have had ample time to spend with little girls, I am totally over this desire for a daughter. I am ever so thankful that I was blessed with a household full of just boys after seeing how difficult it can be to deal with little girls. Raising boys is so much easier than raising girls, I can see now.

How did I come to this conclusion? After several years of teaching preschool, I came to realize that even little girls were high-maintenance. Sure, the boys were rough-and-tumble, but the girls (for the most part) were quite particular about making sure that their hair was just right and that their clothes were not in arrears. And these girls were ages 3 to 5! I could only imagine what these girls would be like as teenagers!

But, it wasn't just preschool observances that led me to be so thankful for my boys. A good friend of mine has two young boys (ages 7 and 4) and a little girl (age 3), and after spending a great deal of time with her household I saw that little girls are a lot of work. Plus, I noticed that my friend's husband tends to be extremely protective of his daughter, more so than he is with his sons. I imagine my husband would be the same if we had a little girl. This type of difference in the way the dad acts toward the children changes the entire family dynamic, and I don't know that I would want that in my household.

So, I am really very happy that I was lucky to have little boys, and only little boys. Yeah, there are times when I walk by the girl's department in a store and see something really super cute and wish I had a daughter to buy it for--but what I do now is buy it for my friend's daughter instead. I'll just share her daughter a little bit, be kind of an auntie to her little girl...that's enough girliness for me!


Pinching Abe said...

Oh yes, girls are high maintenance! There's dresses, hair bows, Disney Princess things, you name it, they want it! Girls are also whinier than boys. Since their daddies coddle them, they think all they need to do is look cute and all-suffering to get their way. But boys, potty training is more of a chore. But you take the good with the bad.

Linney Shvede said...

and if it seems like I was yelling...uhhh yeah!

Ashley said...

Thank you so much for your comment on my blog!! I am on it! :) xoxo - Ash

Momo Fali said...

I have one of each and they both find a way to be equally high maintenance.

Cheryl Anne said...

I'm pregnant with #4, a boy, after having a boy and 2 girls. I think my own experience is just that they are different. My son is easier in some ways and harder in others. :) I have to admit that I did say I "just wanted a healthy baby", but I was THRILLED to find out I'm having another boy :)

Chief Family Officer said...

I honestly meant it and still mean it when I said/say that I'm happy to have two boys, but I think it's only natural that I wanted a girl sometimes. I still have that urge, and I actually think that it will be strongest when my boys are grown up. I think it's harder for a mom to maintain a super close relationship with her sons than with her daughters, or at least the relationship is different - and especially when my boys are married, I feel like I'll lose them in a way that I wouldn't lose a daughter.

This is all so far in the future that it's kind of silly to think about now, but it's the reason I kind of wish I had a daughter, much more so than all the clothes and cute stuff that they sell for girls. In fact, in that regard, it's fabulous having boys - I'm sure I've saved thousands of dollars already, and my oldest is only 3!

Dee said...

Michelle your boys are adorable. I grew up with a single parent my mom and had no clue about little boys. Now that I have a son I think it is great. I think boys are a lot more open than girls too. Very easy to talk to.

Tot's Mom said...

For me, the first born doesn't matter so much if it's a girl or a boy. But if I have a second one, then I sure like to have a girl since I already have a son.